Road Trip! Road Trip!

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Ok so for a change I thought about you my little blog, and snapped me some pictures of the scenery on my road trip yesterday. For work I had to travel far and wide, to distant places which do not see human existence often. Ok I lie, but they are far :)

Along the way, one part of the trip was too awesome that I refused to take pictures. I feared driving off the mountain, and I was enjoying driving along the roads like a rally driver ^_^

The sun rising! :O



a PRETTY effect on my phone sunrise pic :P



The road was long and straight for like... 4 hours.



a MOUNTAIN! :O



Another scenery shot!



3 of the displays I did. I did about 7 in total for my trip among other things







We have some downright amazing scenery here in SA. I was so surprised at how beautiful the one part of my drive was! Could never get the right kind of pic while driving, so stopped for this one :P



A Tunnel!



There was light at the end :P



This is the last picture I took on the way back this morning :)



All in all, I seem to be surviving and smiling, lets see how long this keeps up ^_^ trying my hardest to keep things at bay, even though I think people care and they quite frankly don't seem to give a crap :O!

And thats me :) lazy post. Pictures > Writing for tonight. TIRED!

Maybe I'm Just Blind

Sometimes everything can just feel like its all going to hell at the same time.

I don't know why, but for some reason I seem to imagine this year being more miserable then the last. This has possibly got to do with the state I am in at the moment. I don' know where to begin right now.

I suppose we could begin with me. Maybe in writing all of this I will realise that it is probably me who being the dickhead and not all of those around me. I tend to be extremely forgetful, like to the point where sometimes, I admit, it is insanely ridiculous. A simple example being: My dad tells me to change the DSTV channel on my way past the decoder, and on the way, even though he told me a simple 5 seconds ago, I will forget. I blame this mostly due to the fact that maybe I have other stuff on my mind at that time, maybe I was planning on doing something else already, and he added that onto my list. Maybe I am just lazy and I forget to commit it to memory. The fact is, I tend to forget easily.

Bottomline is, this small example leads to me forgetting to do bigger chores for my parents. I simply forget, or I get lost in time and by the time I realise I should have done that chore ages ago, the time has past. Tonight started out innocently. My parents and I ordering take out pizza and eating together. My mom started telling me I should use my sparetime to learn how to do handy things, make extra money as a repair man. I hate that kind of thing, and unfortunately, I don't see myself doing that as a living. It kind of tells me that my mom already doubts journalism as a career. So naturally, I'm cold to the whole thing, telling her it's not for me. Naturally though to my parents, this leads to the discussion of how lazy I am. I will never deny that, I know I am lazy, but when I apply myself to something, I am far from lazy. My dad constantly tells me to clean the pool surface, due tothe fact that August and September has the surrounding trees blow millions and bilions of leaves onto the surface of the pool and stuffs it up.

About a month or so ago my parents and I had an argument. I couldn't help it and lost my head. Its easy for somebody to tell me I must just make an effort to remember, but when you are me, you know that you try, maybe not as hard as you should, but you try nonetheless to remember whatever was told to you. My parents don't get that, and pin it down to laziness. Maybe it is, but then again maybe it isn't. I told my parents that I will make the extra effort. One month later, I honestly have tried pretty damn hard. Nearly every day I try remember to clean the pool, and thus far I have done so nearly every day. Unfortunately I haven't managed every day because I did still forget the old day. Point of the matter is, my parents asked me to try, and try I did.

Back to this evening, an argument eventually broke out between us. Well to me it was more of a heated discussion and not an argument. What gets brought up? The fact that I'm lazy and forget to skim the pool. Now obviously in all fairness, I will get defensive because I KNOW I have made the effort to do what I was told, even though I never got an A+ for it. So I raise my objection, I missed doing it once this week. Then my dad as an example, casually says "I always have to phone you to remind you. The one time I called Mark (my brother) to remind him to do it, and he was already outside doing it." I couldn't help it. I took that a bit sourly, because it really felt like my dad was rubbing it in my face that my brother is capable and I'm not. So I lost my cool a little, which granted I cannot justify, but it happened nonetheless. I raised my voice, and all hell broke loose. Yelling happened in a 2 v 1 fashion. Me vs my parents. My mom throwing in her useless chirps every now and then.

You know, I really am not the kind of guy to go out EVERY weekend. I really do enjoy being at home with my parents and just knowing they are around makes me happy. So I brought this to my dads attention, saying I could be just like every other kid my age and go out, party, do drugs, etc.

"OH! You're such a saint for NOT doing it and not being like every other kid"

"I'm not perfect, but you could have landed up with a hell of a lot worse for a kid."

"Yeah you're not perfect"

"I know, I'm a shit son."

"Yes you are"

Wow. That didn't suck at all. I was gob smacked, and stormed out. I didn't want to be at home anymore. There is a 7-9 year age gap between me and my older siblings. They are PERMANENTLY out over the weekends. It just honestly feels like my parents have nobody else (especially my mom) to target, so I'm option number one when I'm home. As much as I love my older brother, it really feels like he gets away woth so much at home. My sister and I constantly argue with my mom, and he gets away with murder while we get accused of small things. Anyways, that is besides the point.

I can never leave my house in a rage. There have been so many times when I have argued with my mom and I'm just like "I'M GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT SAYING BYE!" but I always say bye just before I leave, because I feel like I should. Today was it. I got dressed, grabbed my laptop and stormed out the backdoor. I heard my dad calling my name just before the door clicked closed. It was dark and I just wanted to lock the door behind me and leave. I fumbled for the key, knowing my dad was probably coming to pull the door open and confront me. Even though I knew he was coming, I still jumped when he pulled the door open.

"Where are you going?" he asked, but I heard a bit of a softness to his voice. I couldn't help it, and I burst into tears. I told him I didn't know, but I just wanted to leave. He told me to come back inside so we could talk. Big mistake. I went back inside, and the soft talking turned back to yelling in the blink of an eye. The outcome? He told me he will never ask me to do anything for him again, he will let me be my own boss. I was just like :-? What solution is that? I'm not even asking for that. I left.

And here I am, sitting at Lulu's. The awesome 24 hour coffee shop my friends and I come to every bow and then. I'm glad I didn't bump into anybody,I was still uber depressed when I got here and I still am. At least I feel a bit better, having gotten all of that out of the way. By the time I get home my parents will probably be sleeping, and will probably be very sour to me over the next few days.

In all of the above, that is from my perspective, so it might seem like I am right, or sound like I am egging my side of the story on. I probably am, and if my parents had blogs, they would probably write their own version of how they interpreted the evening. Maybe I am blind, and I have issues, which is why I argue lots with my parents.

Not to mention that I was already upset earlier on in the day with Amber. She wants me for some college project she is doing. She needs to film me doing some random stuff to she can animate me. So before she got to my house today we chatted over gtalk. She told me I had been a bit "offish" lately. I was just like O_o? I didn't quite know what to say, maybe I had been offish to her, but thats because I have my own issues I'm going through, and the fact is she is way confusing.

She arrived at my house later and she seemed tired. She didn't want to do her college work anymore so I said ok, lets do it some other time. We ended up going to Bedford for lunch. Things seemed ok, we made some small talk, I stared at her when she wasn't looking, realising how sickening the thought of losing her makes me feel. It made me feel even worse thinking that she probably doesn't feel the same about me, because she never really made eye contact with me much, and kept looking anywhere else but me. After the meal I was strongly reminded of the other day when I went to her house to fetch the Wii. This is the last place she wanted to be and she seemed bored to death. She went very quiet, and I didn't really know what else to bring up to talk about. Do you still like me? Are you over me? Is there somebody else? Whats the story. I don't know. I paid and we left. We like honestly barely spoke all the way to my house. She asked me to turn her car around so it would be easy for her to leave (we were in her car not mine) I was like :-? are you leaving now? Then she said yeah she is tired. I just went quiet. I kept telling myself that when I hugged her goodbye, I was going to tell her I love her, even if she or I don't quite get it. I turned the car around, we hugged briefly, she got in her car. I missed the opportunity. I hoped she would open the window to say bye. She never did, and just drove off. *sigh* I was so sad. She doesn't seem to like spending time with me anymore

Granted, maybe she was tired... I went inside and was on my pc playing games. She sat on gtalk all afternoon through to the evening. Some nap she had O_o

Yet again, maybe Amber has her own story, and this tells it from my side, I'm probably the dick, being all insecure or hopeful about her, or whatever. I'm gonna chill here at Lulu's till I feel better, then going to go home, sleep, and feel better tomorrow morning. Sorry if this post is emo, they have to be posted ever now and then, I'm only human after all.

Dear Dairy, My Milk is Sour

The milk has gone off! Well not really in any case, It just seemed a sporting sort of way to start this blog because I don't really know what I am going to write about.

I pulled up all the information I need about studying next year, made some phone calls and so on. All I need to do is fill out some forms (only a mere 16 of them :O!) and drop them off at the varsity. I'm a little confused as the last time I studied I needed to do a kind of aptitude test or whatever it is called. Not this time it seems :-? cut off date is end of October so I do have some time if some random requirements "pop-up" out of nowhere, I will have time to get it done.

So work... what is that again? You know you aren't doing anything much when your boss jokes with you about you being "jobless" at the moment. I laughed along nervously with her at the office today, but she reassured me that the position I am filling is very real and that I must hang tight and help out with other work where I can. The guy who normally does the long distance travelling is getting married this weekend... so wonder who will be doing all the travelling next week :x

As predicted, Amber and I are going through that "O_o" stage again. I see her, but it's like casual hi there ok thanks bye. I got a tad irritated with her the other day. I left my Wii at her place a few weeks ago and I have been meaning to pick it up. So she sms'd me reminding me and I was like "Ok cool, I will fetch it and maybe spend some time with her." So I rocked up at her place, packed it away while talking crap to her then... nothing. I mean nothing as in I sat down just to spend time with her and chat, but she looked bored out of her skull O_o I was maybe waiting for her to suggest we watch tv or something but the suggestion never came, so I took it that she just wanted me to leave. So I announced that I was leaving, maybe expecting a response of, "Oh so soon?" because I mean, I had only been there like 15 minutes. Nope... instead her response was, "Ok." So I was like O_O and I said, "I bet you can't wait for me to leave..." she casually replied, "No." The tone of her voice suggested otherwise. So I got up and left in a bit of a rush, wondering if she would say anything. She never did. It's just annoying I guess, I hope this stage passes like it normally does, but I simply fear that it doesn't and things remain the way they are, which I hate -_-

At this point in my life I must admit I am feeling super lonely. Feels like I rarely see friends, spend my life wasting away doing nothing, and well, yeah. This yearly cycle repeats itself quite normally with Amber and I it seems. I keep telling myself to be patient, thinks will work themselves out, but at the end of the day, time drags its sweet ass time. Where will I be in 1,2,5 years from now? Guess I will just need to wait and see... be "patient" as people always advise

Dear Blog. I Present To You, My First Script :D

========================================================
1. INT. OUTSIDE AREA WITH LOTS OF GREENERY- DAY

JOHNSON, BERNARD, PATRICIA and BERNICE arrive at youth camp laden with lots of bags slung around them. They walk a short way down a path, being led by a youth leader (THOMAS). THOMAS stops at a doorway.

THOMAS
This is your room guys

BERNARD, carrying loads of bags with his luggage, drops to the ground in a heap on top of his bags.

BERNARD
(panting)
Th...Tha...Thank goodness.

Everybody laughs at BERNARD. THOMAS takes the opportunity to pass on some wisdom.

THOMAS
I hope you guys only brought what you really need, stuff like alcohol, drugs, or anything else you know that would generally be disallowed, is not going to be tolerated.

JOHNSON looks extremely guilty and casually throws one of his bags into a nearby bush as THOMAS starts unlocking the door for them. BERNARD quickly shoots to his feet and throws one of his bags into the bush too. They shoot a guilty look at the girls and nod their heads to the bush, hinting that perhaps they follow suit.

BERNICE
(Whispers)
What? We wouldn’t bring anything bad along, our bags are just full of clothes.

PATRICIA nods her head in agreement. BERNARD sticks out his hands, offering to carry some bags for the girls. BERNICE and PATRICIA smile, handing him each a bag of theirs. He takes each and casually throws them into the bush next to his and JOHNSONS bags. The girls mouths drop in shock while JOHNSON and BERNARD snigger. All this time THOMAS has been still fiddling with the lock and finally gets it open, not knowing what happened behind his back.

THOMAS
Enjoy guys. Lunch will be at 1pm, you are free till then. Come along girls.

JOHNSON and BERNARD walk into their room still smiling, while the girls, unable to do anything about what just happened, are forced to follow THOMAS.

1. INT. PATHWAY LEADING TO GIRLS ROOMS

THOMAS is busy leading the girls, BERNICE and PATRICIA, to their rooms down another pathway.

BERNICE
(whispers urgently)
We need to get our bags quick. Let’s let Thomas show us our room, then we can go fetch them.

PATRICIA nods her head in agreement. THOMAS reaches their room, and unlocks the door and turns to talk to them.

THOMAS
This is yours girls. You’ll be pleased to know your rooms are far better than the guys.

PATRICIA
Thank goodness. It’s nice to know they kept the better rooms for the better mannered people.

THOMAS
What?

PATRICIA
(guilty)
Nothing.

THOMAS
(confused)
Well ok... Remember that you are free till about 1pm. That gives you about 2 hours free time.

THOMAS leaves the girls and walks away. The girls enter their room.

Black screen flashes saying “FIVE MINUTES LATER” the girls leave their room and start walking.

BOOMING VOICE VOICEOVER MAN
And thus the girls began their long precarious journey to collect their bags from the boys.

Black screen flashes saying “FIVE MINUTES LATER”. The girls are walking through an area with lots of trees, panting as if they have walked a huge distance.

BERNICE
(slightly stressed)
Where exactly are we?

PATRICIA
(equally exasperated)
I think we walked to far, we must be out of bounds.

OPTIONAL a wolf howls in the background.

INT. OUTSIDE THE BOYS DORM

BERNARD and JOHNSON check if the coast is clear and sneak up to the bush that their bags and the girls bags are hiding in. BERNARD grabs the girls bags, planning on keeping them in their room in the meantime till they can give them back to the girls. JOHNSON on the other hand can’t contain his curiousity.

JOHNSON
Let’s see what the girls had in here.

BERNARD
Dude thats dodgy, girls bags are like sanctuaries that were never meant for our eyes.

JOHNSON
But surely you would like to know why girls pack so much?

BERNARD keeps quiet. JOHNSON smirks and starts to unzip one of the bags. Just then THOMAS walks into the scene, JOHNSON and BERNARD obviously did not see them coming.

THOMAS
What you guys up to?

JOHNSON
(jumps in surprise and stammers)
n... n... no... nothing!

THOMAS
What you got there?

THOMAS approaches the bag and peaks inside. He is surprised and pulls out a girl’s makeup kit.

THOMAS
(With authority)
What is this? Plan on doing some make up on people who are sleeping tonight???

JOHNSON and BERNARD, gobsmacked, mouth inaudible words. BERNARD eventually finds his voice

BERNARD
(urgently)
It’s not ours, the girls accidentally left their bags here. We were just going to take it to them.

THOMAS raises his eyebrows, half believing the story.

THOMAS
Oh? Well I’d love to know why you planned on opening it. I want you to come with me and give it back to them so you can apologize.

They all walk up the path towards the girl’s room and out of the scene. Another black screen flashes saying “FIVE MINUTES LATER”. PATRICIA and BERNICE arrive at the boys room, they just missed them walking away with THOMAS. They clearly look tired yet relieved that they found their way back to the pathway. BERNICE approaches the bush and pulls out the remaining two bags.

PATRICIA
(annoyed)
Those aren’t ours.

BERNICE
(sighs)
They must have taken ours and forgot about theirs for some reason.

BERNICE knocks on the door to no response. She shrugs her shoulders

BERNICE
Well I guess we just keep their bags hostage until we can trade at a later stage.

BERNICE and PATRICIA carry the boys bags out of scene.

INT. Outside the girls room

THOMAS and the boys walk to the door. THOMAS knocks at the door. BERNARD and JOHNSON shuffle their feet nervously and full of guilt. THOMAS tries again to no response. Just then the girls walk into the scene, chatting. The boys turn around and see what bags the girls are carrying. The boys eyes grow wide as they realise what is in the bags of theirs. THOMAS turns around and see’s the girls.

THOMAS
Oh there you are girls. We were just looking for you.

THOMAS points at the bags he is carrying (the girls bags). The girls seem relieved that their bags are safe. THOMAS see’s the bags that the girls are carrying.

THOMAS
What bags are those?

BERNARD
Those are ou...

BERNICE
(trying to cover up for the guys)
Oh these? We just found these on the way back.

BERNARD realised that he nearly gave himself away and keeps quiet. THOMAS catches on even though BERNICE tried to cover up.

THOMAS
Do these belong to you boys?

BERNARD and JOHNSON ashamedly nod their heads. THOMAS puts the girls bags down and sticks his hand out for the boys bags. The girls hand them over reluctantly. Thomas bends down on his haunches and unzips the bag. His eyes grow wide and he pulls out a bottle of alcohol.

THOMAS
Guys, what is this?

The guys look guilty and keep quiet. THOMAS opens up a bottle, smells it and sips it. He looks surprised. He digs into the bag and pulls out another bottle. He does the same thing and sips another bottle. He starts laughing to himself. Everybody looks at each other confused.

THOMAS
This is water guys. You smuggled in water with these alcohol bottles?

JOHNSON looks at BERNARD, irritated.

JOHNSON
Water? Your dads prized alcohol collection is actually bottles filled with water?

BERNARD shrugs his shoulders.

BERNARD
We filled up the bottles with water and put them back after we drank them on the last camp we went on?

Awkward silence...

JOHNSON
This is true.

The girls giggles at the boys silliness. THOMAS smirks, says stern words.

THOMAS
I can’t punish you for something you did on the last camp, because I don’t have proof. And obviously I can’t punish you for carrying water in your bags, although their containers you carry them in are rather unusual. So I will just let this slide, just this time.

JOHNSON and BERNARD breathe a sigh of relief and bow at THOMAS ‘feet, thanking him.

THOMAS
However, judging by the fact that the girls had the guys bags, and the guys had the girls bags, I can only assume you were snooping around in each other’s rooms. Guys in girls rooms and vice versa is unacceptable.

EVERYBODY tries to object, saying that they were not in anybody else’s room. THOMAS raises his voice above everybody’s

THOMAS
It’s too late for excuses now, the evidence is clear. I’m going to have to put all of you on kitchen duty tonight.

Black screen flashes. “And the Moral of the story is?”
A long pause, then another screen flashes “We hope you packed light.”
========================================================

Sorry, I understand it may be a bit tough to read here, it was nicely layed out in my Word document :P we shoot this Saturday :) I will try upload a video somewhere if I can. This is to be a video for the youth camp coming up in September :D

LOL @ Bernard and Johnson

AH! Its after 1am here by me. I am sitting at a pool table, busy typing on my teeny weeny laptop. I'm currently at Gruff's house if you are wondering. He and Hanru (one of his friends from college) are busy doing work here, and I decided to come join them and keep them company. In doing so, I couldn't exactly sit and twiddle my thumbs, so I decided to get some work of my own done.

There is a youth camp coming up in September over a long weekend. The youth camp I went to at the beginning of the year, made a really cool video explaining all the rules of the camp to follow. That was a huge youth camp consisting of lots of youths combined. This camp coming up is solely for our youth. We have decided to do a fun video too, explaining all the rules and such. At the recent youth meeting, I volunteered to write the script for it. Robs, a friend of mine is currently at AFDA (a film college) in her third year, and she gave me some material to help me write a proper script. It all seemed confusing at first, and after 4 failed attempts at a decent opening scene, I finally found something that works with me. It has some comedy, while hinting at the rules of the camp without being IN YOUR FACE. I am far from finished, but it feels good to finally be thinking creatively again and getting something out of my system in terms of writing. Perhaps I will put up the script and video up here when it is done and finalised (and also if I like my final script :P).

At the moment I am deciding on UJ or WITS to study next year. Decisions out of high school or scary... but at the age of 22, life decisions are still scary O_O

I am so keen to carry on writing my books... and so many other things. If only I had the motivation and non laziness -_- lets hope this is the start of that.

I haven't read a book for months, but recently I got a new phone with the Android operating system on it. I found me an e-reader and I can download any book I can think of. I have already finished a book this week and don't plan to stop. Its just so convenient to read on your phone, anywherem anytime, without having to lug a physical book around with you. So lets hope this reading will stir my creative juices too.

Thats all for now, nothing about Amber at the moment :P kthxbye

:x !!!

SILENCE!

This week is going it be random and empty just like the last week. Work is kind of annoying the crap out of me at the moment. I am meant to be doing my new job, but I cannot do so until I get my training. My boss tells me that we are waiting on Microsoft to get back to us. So at the moment, I am wasting my life at home, only working when I get called to do favours or whatever. It's highly irritating. You may think "but you get paid to do nothing then?" Maybe... but am I even getting paid to do nothing? Logically in my head yes I am, because my boss hasn't said anything to me about no pay this month. I just don't know what exactly I am getting this month. Probably my same old salary. It's just annoying me how my parents are on my case about it and there is nothing I can do.

For your entertainment I have decided to provide you a link to a minigame: http://www.miniclip.com/games/balance/en/

I laughed when I played it :P it's so random.

Today I had a productive day in my opinion. I didn't get called in by work today so I had time to kill today. I ended up getting some reading done, doing some shopping, sorting out my tax and now even writing. Sounds like nothing really, but considering that these spare games get wasted entirely to gaming, its quite something in my eyes :) Unfortunately the remainder of the day fell to gaming so it was half a successful productive day :P

I haven't seen Amber forever. Didn't get to see her this weekend. I called her last week just to say hello. We didn't chat very long, but hearing her voice and her laugh was more then enough for me. Her laugh always makes me laugh because its so infectious. Anyhow I thought she was going to be busy all weekend so didn't make any plans to see her or any alternate forms of transport just in case. Come sunday i went with my parents to a family lunch, but I didn't take my own car. Murphy's Law STRIKES... she sms's me saying she got some work done and was keen for a movie or something. I'm like -_- because I had no way of getting to her as I was not in my own car. I told her I couldn't make it. So guess I will just have to wait for this weekend where I can maybe see her. Maybe I'll go surprise her with chocolate or something this week.

She just put up a new profile picture of herself and it still surprises me how amazing she looks O_o and considering I haven't seen her for like 10 days I'm all like <3! Haha thats weird I guess... I decided to click the like button and not leave some comment on how amazingly beautiful she looks. I made my status ":x !!!" because I was just going to shoosh and not say anything about her picture. Surprise surprise she commented on my status saying hello? Ah man... I wonder if she knows it's because of her.

I don't think this post is making sense :) but it's ok! Less then 3 (According to Sage ^_^)

The Ticker is Running out of Ticks :O

ALLO!

I know I have been super scarce, more scarce then Unobtanium to the humans in Avatar, but it's ok I'm sure you didn't miss me much :)

I won't deny being super lazy as of late, I just think about writing and I'm like na... not right now. Not because I hate it, more just because I don't feel like it right now at this second. But then I wake up every morning realising how much I dislike my job and how much I want to get out of there and I realise that maybe it's time to stop being lazy and time to start thinking about my career and my future. This leads me to writing of course, because I will do that next year. I have given up on trying to find a creative writing degree or course, I will just have to settle for journalism and hope that it is everything I have hoped for. I can always go to WITS or UJ (two universities here in Johannesburg) but I have been checking out the communication degree at Boston City Campus which is a college nearby. My brother studied there and thats all I know about the place. At the end of the day though I think I need to apply to UJ. I need to be super focused, because if I stuff that up, then where the hell am I going with my life? You don't need a degree to be an author, but I'm pretty sure that having some kind of theory and link to the writing for a living community will greatly aid me. I have until the end of September to enroll. Time, she is running short.

Not that you would know, but my parents were away for the past 3.5 weeks and got back two days ago. Generally I miss them when they are away (this is a now annual thing, them travelling to family overseas) but this year I don't know... It just felt different. One evening I was sitting here in the study and I just realized how empty the house feels without them, and it made me think of them dying one day, it wasn't pleasant O_o my parents aren't allowed to die, I need them... I don't like this feeling of an empty house.

As you may have remembered I mentioned in March or so how Amber seems to go through a cycle with me, where sometimes we are all close and others she feels scarce. I know she is mostly scarce due to college, but my predictions were right, and she is scarce -_- bleh.

WEEEEEEEEEEEEH