Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Performance Appraisal

Another day has come and gone in my life. Its strange to think how time seems to have flown since i have finished my school career. This is already my fourth year out of school! Thinking about my achievements, i have kind of realised that i don't have much to write home about. Sure I'm working, and growing in many ways (I sure  feel more grown up each day compared to the day before) but where is my life going? 

It's difficult to focus on something i want to pursue in my life. One thing sure sticks out though. I have an urge to write, or even to just be creative enough to draw something as simple as a comic. I have little to no artistic talent though (much to my dismay... I sure wish I could be as creative visually as some people are). I am slowly but surely learning to write in new ways each day. I have decided i need to be far more active in this blog - and by that i mean writing about interesting or random things, not just using this as a medium to jot down my emotions or the antics of my life. So hopefully you can expect a little bit more reading in future :)

Tomorrow is my performance appraisal at work. Im actually highly nervous now that it is so near! I really hope that more work is given to me, so that i may grow and move up my little ladder in life. To my knowledge we are going to be having a website up and running in the future, i think i may just ask to be the writer of all the articles. This in essence means i would be writing about all that goes on in my company (Special events, promotions, gatherings, etc). I wrote an introductory article for the webiste a few months ago, and according to one of my collegues it was actually liked by some of the other staff. So heres holding thumbs! Apart from that i hope to get more involved with work and help my company to grow. 

I have certain goals i set at the beginning of this year. One of which is to finish my book. Nearly half the year has passed already and i have barely begun to continue my stories saga! Time is flying by... i need a large sail so i can catch onto it.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Creating a Memory

The Dirty Skirts, Zebra and Giraffe, Cassette, Panic! at the Disco, Snow Patrol and Oasis. All appearing in South Africa's very own CocaCola Zero Fest! I am missing some bands, but the few i mentioned above were the only ones i was actually keen on seeing live. 

Unfortunately this year would be much more different then the previous year. Who could top off a performance given by Muse last year? Not to mention that most of my friends were away for the weekend. Going was just Amber and myself. I was actually really looking forward to it, even though it was just us two, spending the day with her would be great! We also decided to go Golden Circle this year (The most expensive tickets you can get) as we felt that last year not being up close to the stage was a real loss! It was actually worth it, seeing as we got to be so close, had our own seperate "Chill" area, Seperate food vendors, toilets,etc (something that was not available last year to my knowledge)

The day went on rather fast in my opinion. Evening hit us faster then ever. The moon was as beautiful as ever, hanging out in the sky overlooking our event. After Panic! at the Disco we decided to fight our way into the crowd to have a much better view of Snow Patrol and Oasis. At this point my evening really started. So as not to lose each other and the crowd we held each others hand and fought our way through. Bar the random drunk people stumbling around and annoying people who tend to shove rudely, we found a decent spot. I had a feeling I hadn't really felt in a while (not this intensely). I felt like Ambers boyfriend again. I was standing behind her, holding her hands. I was kinda nervous with Snow patrol coming on soon. We both really love Snow Patrol, and everybody knows they have music that can stir the heart and emotions (well at least in my opinion)

They came on and started performing. In all honesty I really enjoyed them, I think they were great live. I can't for the life of me remember which song had just played, but i know i had Amber leaning against me and a song had just ended. She leant back and looked at me. I knew that look, and i knew how i felt. I leant forward and kissed her gently. It was the best feeling in the world! I felt like her boyfriend again, holding her against me, never wanting this moment to end. Unfortunately it did, and the show went on. Chasing Cars was still to be played, i was looking forward to hearing it. As soon as it did come on something surprising happened. Possibly it was just my imagination, in fact it probably was. As soon as we recognised what song had just started, Amber turned around and hugged me, but maybe she only did that because some guys were pushing through the crowd nearby. I like to think she did it because she wanted to. Towards the end of the song, with the moon high in the sky, the crowds singing along, i kissed her again. I couldn't help it! I will never forget that moment, never in my life. Just those few seconds, the way i felt, the high i was on... It will never leave me. Snow Patrol, you guys gave such a great performance, and i will never forget it.

Oasis were up next and the Golden Circle area seemed to just get fuller and fuller. They too gave a great performance, performing longer then anybody else. By the end of their set, i was totally exhausted. We fought the crowds to get to the parking area, which was so full that we couldn't exactly remember where we parked the car :O After much searching, and some annoying moments (i was tired, i get annoyed easily when tired) we found the car, and made our way home.

It really was a Good Friday :P i enjoyed the company i had the most. Too bad it was just a one day thing. Everything seems to have gone back to normal. Im really bad at controlling my emotions sometimes. I just can't comprehend how such an awesome night can happen and she can go back to normal, not having such high feelings for me as much as I have for her. I know she loves me, but I just really wished she loved me as much as i love her. Perhaps it will happen one day, but who knows. Until then i can do nothing but continue loving her, its the easiest thing in the world to feel something for her, she is amazing!!! I wish she knew it, but she will continue to deny it. Only time will tell what will happen to us two. 

Im far too lazy to read over and check my grammar and spelling. If you do by any chance read this, thank you for reading everything else above :) Happy Easter!

About Me

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South Africa
BA English and Communication graduate. I like to write stuff!