Every time. Every. Damn. Time.
I've been stressed over the last few weeks, what with work, varsity and my family situation. I'm ashamed to admit that I feel horribly alone. Not in terms of friends or family (although maybe a little in that department too), but with regards to love. I crave intimacy, I miss it horribly. I feel like I no longer have anybody to share my most personal secrets or opinions with, other than you. The problem is, you are on the Internet, and people would put two and two together if you were ever found (by people who don't already know of your exisitence of course).
It always starts with a dream. ALWAYS. ALWAYS! The last few weeks have gone by in a blur, with little interaction with Amber. I thought things were starting to change when last week sometime, I had a dream of a faceless female. We were just spending time together, talking and laughing about whatever the hell was going on in the dream. Could my brain finally be moving on? Of course not. I'm a twisted. creepy human, still craving the attention of the one I have spent my last few years chasing after. Last night I dreamt I was with Amber, out and about on a date or something of the sort. This morning I feel depressed, on the verge of years for God knows what. Actually, I do know what. I miss her, as usual. I want to spend time with her, as usual. But she has moved on with her life, and I'm just stuck here wondering when I will be able to move on with mine.