Sunday, October 4, 2009

Missing In Action?

Another day, another blog ^_^

I have just finished my second week of leave, and I am just entering my last one now. I spent so much time with Jesse and Veronica (cousins who stay all the way in Secunda) and even more time with Jesse :) his sister stayed at home instead of coming to Jhb these last few days because she had some school work to get through. So Jesse stayed with me from Wed-Sunday (aka today, yesterday :P) He went back home first thing this morning! I must admit, I actually spent the whole day being sad that he was gone =/ it was so awesome having him around, like my own little brother. Although he isn't by blood, he will still be my little brother always, and his sister my sister. 

I actually don't know whats up with me today O_o apart from Jesse being gone, I just spent the whole day being sad. Even my dad asked my like a million questions trying to figure out whats wrong. There is a lot going on in my heart at the moment, which of I won't bore you with in this blog. I guess I'm just feeling uber lonely, now that I have a whole week of leave left with nothing planned at all other then staying at home. 

Amber picked the worst time to suddenly want to start chatting and hang out with me -_- She sms'd quite a lot while I was in Secunda and even kept wanting to know when I would get back because she wanted to hang out. By the time I got back, well she had other plans, so I missed out on the chance to spend time with her. She knows I have this whole week, with nothing planned. I really hope she wants to spend time with me, because I most certainly want to spend time with her! I somehow doubt it, whatever reason she wanted to hang out for is probably long gone by now. She is confusing as ever -_- seemingly seeking attention one second, and then barely acknowledging me the next! I saw her tonight... All that happened was a "Hi, goodbye" basically :( gah! This is so annoying... I love that woman too much. Whats wrong with me? I never saw her for two weeks, and my word... I looked forward to seeing her this weekend so much! I was in a rush though, so I guess that was a part of us not really talking. I wish I could drop my habit of glancing at her from across the room every five seconds. Thank God I'm sneaky enough that she doesn't catch me. She takes my breath away O_o she is too amazingly beautiful.

Funny how I told myself that I would NOT talk about Amber in this blog, but it hurts to keep it all in and she had to sneak her way into it somehow O_o There is this damn "gloop" of despair in my stomach, like there is an emptyness, or scaredness. Empty because I miss her, scared because it would hirt like crap to see her fall for somebody else. As each day passes though, I keep getting the feeling that thats not too far off -_- Im a moron. This blog probably won't make sense to you :P but its ok its helping me :)

Definitely lots of missing in action... I'm actively missing you lots, Amber. 

3 comments:

  1. I comment see... look I comment

    ReplyDelete
  2. In Russia, we do not have "gloop". In Russia we have Stolichnaya, and Stolichnaya is always enough, for real men. In Russia, the cold is the only thing able to take a man's breath away. In Russia, it is better never to have loved; the icy gales have no mercy in them, for lost wanderers...

    However, the man that strikes and claws and strives his way forth into sanity once more after facing the rending power of isolation, is a man that may yet stand against future desolation...

    ReplyDelete
  3. This blog makes perfect sense to me dude. Like, no lies I get it. What you're feeling and it SUUUCKS!! :0 But then again, rules 1 and 2 dude. Rules 1 and 2...

    ReplyDelete

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BA English and Communication graduate. I like to write stuff!