Sunday, October 10, 2010

Memories May Fade, but Moments Last Forever


Ok it's not raining right this very second, but I'm pleased to report that Johannesburg has finally received a few TEENY shares of rains. Little as it was, we have received about 3 spouts of it, and it won't be long before we can enjoy night long rain sessions. The air will no longer be dry, and my skin will no longer look like sandpaper. The rain however, did stuff up the cleanliness of my car, which I washed on Friday -_- curse you rain! Please come back soon though!

Weekends are a strange time for me I won't lie. I find myself longing for them whenever I am at work, yet when my weekend finally rocks up, I'm like ok now what? I feel like my weekends are a waste and I don't get much done in them, which I can't honestly say I feel guilty about, but it does kind of leave a gloop of nothingness in my stomach. I should be using this time to get some writing done.

Speaking of which the first ever book I started, which none of you have ever read I don't think, yeah that one. Over the last 2 weekends I have been having immense brainwaves on storylines, characters, twists, etc etc etc. Its weird, I haven't thought about that book in years, I have tried and have had nothing come of it and now out of nowhere I can't stop thinking about it! I have enough fresh ideas that I'm sure I could span over at least three books. So I consider this book to be my first ever series even though I haven't yet finished the first :P I will get there though!

Amber I hear you ask? Ok I know you would never ask about her, but I'll just pretend you did. As I have mentioned back in the day, there is a nice quiet gap spanning 2-3 months (following the mysterious cycle that happens every year) where Amber seems to drop off the face of the planet and when I see her there is like nothing there from her side, and no enthusiasm from mine due to it. I am hoping this year doesn't fail me and she realizes that I do still exist. It was around the end of October last year when we kind of got back together, so I'm hoping history shall not fail me. Amber has been scarce this year due to college, but she used to make time to see me. Now she barely sms's, talks to me, or anything. We all went out for dinner yesterday, and I just kind of assume that Amber would be keen to sit next to me, or you know, want to chat to me. I spent a frustrated evening watching her not really pay any attention to me, but sit opposite her ex boyfriend before me, last of which I saw them together, was on her amazingly fantastic 20th birthday bash this year in June. Where she got drunk, threw him looks that wrenched at my heart, and generally told me to piss off.

Maybe I am just imagining that I know Amber THAT well... but deep down in my heart somewhere I can't hide the fact that I think she still has some sort of feelings or crush on him. Then again, maybe it's just me being the chop and expecting too much from her. THEN again, how is it normal to treat a guy like your best friend, your boyfriend, to pretending that he isn't there anymore, only talking to him when you need something? Bah I don't know, I just needed to rant I guess.

After last night, Amber chatted to me a little bit on Googletalk. But it was the simple hi how are you have fun k awesome kind of conversation. Yeah I did have fun, but my evening lacked any form of conversation with her, I don't know why she waited for me to be on a chat program before she decided to say anything. Even more irritating then that, she just doesn't say goodnight anymore -_- chat chat chat Amber is now away... at which point I know she has left her pc on to download something, and has gone to bed. in my retarded moment of weakness, I left her a message saying goodnight and that I missed her. She hasn't said anything to me at all. Ah well, can't win em all. Hope history will repeat itself to a certain extent. Or better yet, I'll just turn into a heartless prick and forget any kind of memories I have had with her. Those have kind of faded I guess, but I can remember certain moments clear as day, and I don't think I will ever forget them.

I'm still waiting for UJ to process my varsity application -_- dang its been 2 weeks already!

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South Africa
BA English and Communication graduate. I like to write stuff!