Monday, September 21, 2009

Damn you Dream! Hey Wait, Cool Idea :D

This past weekend has definately been a random and confusing one emotional wise. It was still a good weekend nonetheless :) If you read my previous entry you would know that my feelings for Amber have sort of awakened again. 

On Saturday evening I planned on going to Q's house to finish the ever awesome Resident Evil 5. We knew we were on the last stage so it was just a matter of finishing the game. Shortly before I left Amber started talking to me on Facebook chat. She asked me to help her do some preparation for Childrens Church in the morning (which she is part of.) I don't know what exactly it involved but she asked me to build a castle for her O_o lol I was like "er... ok thats random." Anyways eventually I agreed to it, saying I could help her for an hour or two before I went to Q's place (which is like a 5 minute drive away.) She was then like "No I was just kidding, go have fun." I was a bit irritated I must admit, being asked to do something, then finally agreeing, knowing I'd get to spend some time with her no matter what she wanted me to help her with, only to have her casually say she was just kidding. 

Sunday, I spent the afternoon at a family lunch. Literally as I was pulling out of their driveway, Amber called me. I was a little hesitant to answer in front of my parents (who were with me in my car) because my mom can be quite enquiring at times and its a little annoying. On top of that, I had no idea what she wanted to talk about. So I answered, we did the whole hello how are you thing, and this is a rough version of the rest of the conversation:

Amber: Where are you?
Me: I was at family, on my way home now.
Amber: Oh...
Me: Why?
Amber: I was just wondering, I'm bored.
Me: Where are you?
Amber: Just finished at Greenstone with other people, they all going home now.
Me: Oh ok.
Amber: yeah remember you mentioning you were on leave, so thought you might be at Q's house or something. Wanted to come hang out. 
Me: Nope, was there last night.
Amber: Oh yeah.
Me: We could always go watch the late show at greenstone or something? I'm up to it?
Amber: Na it's ok, everybody here seems tired anyways and is gonna go home I think.
(In my head I was thinking just us two O_o but ok.... lol)
Me: Oh... ok
Amber: Yeah
Me: Well, have a good evening then.
Amber: You too.

That was just version, I know there was more random rambling inbetween but thats irrelevant. So night number 2, and a no go from her again O_o geez she is so confusing...

The only reason I wrote this blog was to share the dream I had last night. It made me wake up this morning super happy O_o it was weird... If I blogged AS I woke up I'm sure there would be more details or inbetween bits, but this is all I can remember (The relevent parts, not what happened before or after :P I don't remember anything else.) I seemed to be in a hall of sorts, it seemed VERY similar to my primary school hall. I don't know what exactly was happening, but I know there were quite a lot of people. Amber was there too. I just remember us talking, and then she said something that actually hurt and irritated the crap out of me (Dammit I cant remember what it was that she said O_O) I walked away in a huff, and she saw the instant change in my mood. She called out to me something like "Hey you know I was just kidding right? We're still good aren't we? We're still friends right?" I stopped and said something to her (Dammit! Cant remember what I said either :P) and then the tables turned, she was walking away from me hurt and pissed at me. I had retorted something to offend her too. I just remember that it was a reflex comment, and that I didn't actually mean it :O so she walked away from me, looking more hurt then pissed off. Man it made me feel like an ass >_<

I followed her, trying to get to her and apologise. She was busy weaving through the crowd far to fast for me though! Eventually I got to her, but she was being comforted by a friend of hers who was giving her a big hug. I stopped and approached them. Amber looked scared, not wanting her friend to leave, but her friend did back away as I got closer. I don't remember EXACTLY what I said, but I grabbed Amber and held her, saying something along the lines of, "Dammit Ambie, you know I love you to pieces! cant you just accept that?" The reaction I got from her was totally unexpected. She pulled away from me and looked at me through her teary eyes, smiling her ever beautiful smile. She then surprised me by leaning up to me and kissing me quickly :$ she realised what she did and she pulled away, but then she also realised that she wasn't sorry about what she did because she leaned forward again. I turned my face and pulled it away though, thinking something like "No I'm not going to let you kiss me then just forget about me again." She didn't let it discourage her, she forced me to kiss her and I accepted :O

I don't exactly remember the rest of the dream, but man... That just made me wake up in the best of moods ever! She has taken such a firm residence in my heart :O and it made me heart fly above the clouds in my dream. Its hard to explain the whole scene in words, but I have it in my head, and possibly Ill add it to my book one day, because I do plan on having my main character part of a love story later in the book :) I think it'd be a rad addition!

Last thing, This was the state of my FB status this morning:

Fig ... wow........... that was awesome :)
Amber: what what what? 
Fig: :)
Amber: sigh.... you never tell me anything :/

Obviously I was referring to my dream, but I'm not exactly going to tell her about it :P I just thought it funny that she says I never tell her anything, when lately, she doesn't let me onto much either ^_^ ok blogtime over - I know this was a random entry but get over it :P I'm on three weeks leave and have lots of time to kill :)

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South Africa
BA English and Communication graduate. I like to write stuff!