Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Definitely Still a Learning Curve

Sorry guys, definite rant on the horizon tonight. It's eating at my insides, as insignificant as it may seem, but it's something I need to write about to feel better about.

Tonight we went to a farewell dinner for Talitha. Jesse (my cousin from Secunda who is staying over) and I went to fetch Amber on the way because she asked for a lift. The evening went as expected I guess, starting off with Amber taking the empty seat next to Dave. I have nothing against Dave, he is one of my good friends from Highschool, but seeing him and Amber is like poison to me. I get so irritated around them that I just want to get up and leave. Surprisingly I handled myself quite well tonight, considering that last time she abandoned me for his company I had to get up like twice, making excuses about bathroom visits, just to clear my head and not get angry/upset about it. Anyways back to tonight...

I can't quite tell how they feel about each other, maybe they are just being friends and whatnot, but I'm just really uncomfortable about it. It's difficult to explain. Anyways, it just annoys me :P I struggle to be normal around them, but I really think I did well tonight.

The problem didn't come in at dinner, but after. People were making plans to go to Wolves tomorrow evening, and I know Dave is definitely going. Amber said she wasn't sure if she was going yet and nor was Gruff. I wasn't going because I wanted to go watch Harry Potter with Jesse, and besides that, he is too young for Wolves and I'm not going to leave him at home while I'm out and about. I had to then change my plans to accommodate Gruff and Amber because they don't want to go in the evening. That aside, I could have sworn that when we left, Dave said to Amber that he will see her at Wolves tomorrow. I have no idea who else is going, not sure if Gruff is... but the thought of Amber and Dave going alone makes me kinda sad :S sheesh...

In the car on the way home, my mood had already dipped after speculating in my head, perhaps unnecessarily, but speculation nonetheless. Amber started talking about people, then eventually couples. First off she started speaking about particular people who had just broken up, and how not too long after the guy is already dating another girl (I'm talking maybe about 2 months? Not sure) anyways, she said she wasn't happy about the whole thing, but the girl should get over him, and girls do take long to get over guys. I couldn't help but retort in my head something along the lines of, "yeah because you took SO long to get over me."

If she isn't over me, well then she is covering up very well. If she is, well then that was insanely fast and it hurt. It's like she forgot all about me during college this last half of the year, and is just moving on with her life like we didn't ever exist.

Second up she started talking about other couples. She kept going on about how cute certain couples are. I just stayed quiet... couple hookups is like the last goddam thing I wanna talk to my ex about. She kept talking and talking, then realizing how quiet I was, casually said, "I'll shut up now." Thank goodness O_o I don't know why it irritates me how she talks about others together, I have nothing against them, but there was once upon a time when we used to think we were awesome together, now that thought is clearly absent from her mind.

Oh well... told you tonight was a ramble. Sorry :)

When I got home she asked me over gtalk if I was upset in the car. I told her I just had a big headache which was kind of true. I don't want to be an ass to her, so guess I'll just have to keep learning to deal with it, and get over her.

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South Africa
BA English and Communication graduate. I like to write stuff!