Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Dear Diary

Today is February the 8th, soon to be the 9th seeing as it is exactly 23:53PM. SHIRT! Today was a productive day... BAH SCREW IT!

I doubt I could ever keep a diary. Sure this blog is kind of the same concept, but I don't use it to talk about my day in detail and such. If I did I think I may just bore the world to death. Not only that but, I still keep my innermost secrets to myself, and doubt I could ever put that down anywhere :P *Yawn* I'm tired. Lets see what I can write down :D

So today at work it was mentioned that I would possibly need to work this weekend, Saturday and Sunday. I told my boss that I have no problem doing the Saturday
but the Sunday would be an issue, this has nothing to do with the fact that it is Valentines day (more on that later though.) By contract, I am meant to work two Saturdays a month. Now, I'm all cool with that, but I refuse to work anymore Sundays. My manager tried to trick me though, saying that by contract I am meant to work one weekend a month. I was like "You mean two Saturdays a month, which I am more then willing to do. I'd prefer to not work on Sunday." she looked a little bit irritated, but she knew I was right. "We'll make a plan," she said. I felt awesome, considering that at work I am generally easy and take on anything that is told to me to do. Not anymore, Sundays are mine for family and church when I can. They cant Bs me, not unless they plan on paying me extra.

That aside, I am currently doing my job, as well as the job that Gruff left behind in hot pursuit of his resignation. This too, is utter rubbish, as the client that I manage thinks I am putting all my effort into their product, when I am actually now doing another persons job behind the scenes. My bosses solution? "Oh just don't tell them, keep it under wraps." This too, is utter BS on so many levels. This got me to thinking that I seriously need to confront her about it, she needs to let the client know about these kind of changes. That or, I want to step down from my position and permanently step into Gruffs shoes. This would be super awesome, because it would mean I would have more free time then I currently have, NO weekend work, and possibly some days off during the week. This in turn, means that I can possibly take on part time studying, and I can focus more on writing too. I think I need to mail her and set up a meeting. I will let you know how that goes.

Good grief, I am playing Dead Space at the moment on PS3 (hence the title of my blog :P) I have never played it before, and got it for R100 on special over Christmas from BT Games. I am not one to scare easily, far from it actually, and no I am not scared of playing it, but I lol so hard at the fact that it has actually made me gasp or jump two or three times :D the funniest though was that I was playing it one night and my cat jumped onto my lap. Flip, I got the biggest fright ever :O think I am nearly finished though, and according to NAG Dead Space 2 is coming soon. It's gonna make me jump again :(

So Sunday is Valentines day. Amber has never really been a fan of it (and nor have I for that matter) simply due to the face that you should go out of the way to show your significant other your love EVERYDAY, and not just a couple of times a year. Two years ago on Valentines day, I tricked Amber awesomely. I knew her views on Vday, and she knew mine. She was not expecting me to do anything at all. Only months after we had started dating, I already had plans in my head to trick her. She is so difficult to buy for, and not the hugest fan of teddies, but I kept my eyes peeled and ears on end for any hint of anything. It actually came :| One day we were in a Cardies and she was looking at the stuffed toys. She saw this cuddly looking elephant and loved it immensely. I smiled and made a huge ass mental note in my head, for Vday which was still like 3 months away. I decided to wait, hoping that by that time they would still have that Elephant in stock.

The time came, and I was relieved to see that they still had stock. between work I rushed around getting stuff I would need for the evening. I was not going to see her at all, I think at the time it was just something we decided. I was like screw that, and made plans anyways. She was in Matric at the time, so during school I made plans to drop the teddy at her house, so she could find it when she came home. I hid it behind her huge pillow, and snapped a picture. As soon as school was over, I MMS'd her a picture of her pillow. She phoned me like half an hour later with glee in her voice. I can't remember exactly what she said, but man, it made me smile :) she insisted on seeing me, but I was playing hard to get. "I have some things to do for my father, I will have to see... " She seemed disappointed, but I smiled knowing that I would surprise her again later.

Amber lives in a very nice residential area, very safe and very quiet. She lives 2 blocks away from the park, and down the road. If you stand outside her driveway and look up the road, you can see the park clearly. I had always imagined doing what I did inside my head for her, but never really knew when I would pull it off. The time was now. I bought tons of little candles from a store, and put my plan into action. I lit as many of them as I could, placing them on both sides of the road leading up to the park. It lead into the park, and without trying to make it look like some kind of dark ritual, I made a huge square of candles. I smiled at how good it looked, and I walked down the road. I turned and looked up at my work, and I was sure it would make her happy, the one thing I strive for always. Seeing that perfect smile fill her face, hearing that infectious giggle reverberate around me! Her parents knew I was coming, and left the door open. I strolled into the living room and she turned and looked at me, surprised to see me. She smiled her gorgeous smile :) and my heart beat loudly against my chest. Keeping my composure, I didn't give any form of greeting. "Come with me My Angel..." I grabbed her hand and we left to her driveway.

This was all epic and whatnot, had it not been for the fact that the wind had picked up and blown out half my candles O_o it still looked alright though, and I led her to the park where I had food waiting. This was a night for us, lame Valentines notions aside, This was my way of telling Amber Jessica Smith that I loved her with my whole heart, and I still do to this day. She sms'd me later that night something like this (maybe not word for word, but very similar.) "Thank you for the most amazing Valentines Day EVER! A girl couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. I love you :)" Amber doesn't say I love you for anything, I know she only says it when she feels it, not because its the right thing to say. My heart soared :)

Last year Valentines day, well, we weren't dating, and although I wanted to do something for her, I didn't for fear that it would make things seem weird (because they kind of were at the time)

This year? Who knows... Amber and I are close again, to me in a much more intimate way then we were two years ago. We aren't dating, but whether she admits to it or not, I know she loves me. I spent the whole day with her on Saturday, and an awesome day it was.

Somewhere along the lines she asked me "So who's your Valentines going to be?"
"Oh nobody I guess..."
"Nobody?"
"You could always be my Valentine?"
"Sorry, Im already Robs' Valentine." (Robs is a close female friend of hers, she was kidding obviously :P)
"Oh..."
"But as long as you don't tell her, I'll be your Valentine."

I smiled at her and pulled her into a hug. We both hate Valentines day, but that does not change the fact that we are both in each others lives. For how long, nobody knows. At least she knows though, I will always be here for her, waiting for that perfect smile to embrace me, no matter at what cost. I smile at the fact that, two years later, the Elephant cuddly I bought her two years ago still maintains a permanent residence on her bed.

Yoh long post, forgive me :) Tis now 12:38 :O