Hello everybody :)
So I haven't blogged for a little while, but I am proud to report that the drought has passed (for now)
On Saturday I attended my friend Geoffrey's wedding. This on its own was a totally new experience for me. Jeph (Geoffrey's nickname) is one of my friends I matriculated with. This on its own is a totally random new thing to me, seeing as he is only a year older then me at the age of 22. Getting married at such a young age these days is practically frowned upon. I have no doubts in him and his new wife, they are amazing together and very mature. His wife is older then him by the way, by 4-6 years or something like that. Their wedding had such an impact on me. I really hope I can get whats in my head out onto this page without it sounding stupid, because in my head this is meaningful to me.
I can't really place why this had been the best wedding I have been to. I guess it comes down to the fact that I know Jeph quite well, I have a friendship with him, whereas other weddings I have attended have been distant cousins or people that I do not know too well. His and Aimee's story is magical. Did you know that he proposed to her without them even dating? She thought that he was going to ask her out, but lo and behold, he proposes! They had been very close friends for around 3 years or so, being on a team that does outreaches and that kind of thing. Can you imagine doing that? Proposing to a girl you haven't even dated, but you know you want to spend the rest of your life with her? That blows my mind... I think about it and I just sit in awe at the thought of such a love like that.
They are the example to follow in my opinion. All my other friends and I who get married are surely going to look up to them as an example and follow. The ceremony was amazing, with them exchanging their OWN vowels, and personally thanking both their parents in front of everybody. I can't explain Jeph or how the wedding was the way it was, but it was just totally them. From Jeph wearing a smart suit, but walking around in All Stars, to the random things that happened throughout the rest of the day.
What really got to me was the speeches. What everybody had to say about the bride and groom. They did everything right. They waited and grew closer to each other before Jeph proposed. They just knew, thats what gets to me. They just knew they were for each other. Thinking about that kind of love just makes my heart pulsate hugely. Its amazing, only a love that God could have put in us.
This is where I admit to being a bit of a girl. I won't lie, I am a hugely sensitive guy, I just hide it very well. I know I got it from my dad, because he is so soft too and can get emotional over the smallest of things. Jeph took that microphone and had his say. As the moments past I found myself with tears in my eyes. He was just so genuine, thanking his parents again for everything they have done for him, thanking them for being the most awesome ever. He also got emotional which probably explains why I was teary eyed too. Then he addressed his wife. Promising her he would give the world to her, that he would be there for her for the rest of their lives. I know these weren't just words to woo her or the crowd, they were from his heart. Man... I can't wait for it to be my turn, where I am at that point, ready to spend my life with my best friend, and share in a God given love. God is all over that marriage, they are truly soul mates, and they were meant for each other. Don't ask me how I know, just look at them. They are not this vomit "cutesy" couple that giggle at the sight of each other. They are made for each other.
See... I have read the above and it doesn't even sound as good down here as it does in my head. Anyways, I can't do anything about that. This whole wedding got me thinking about me and Amber. Don't get me wrong, I am not looking for a carbon copy paste of Jeph and Aimees union, I am just looking up to them because they have done everything right. Will Amber and I be like that one day? Even though we are no longer dating, this June would have been our 3 year anniversary, and hell we have made mistakes. A lot of mistakes, we are not perfect. I think about our future and I can honestly say, regardless of how I feel about Amber, I don't know if we will be together one day. I am the Man, I am supposed to lead her and protect her. I have honestly made some silly mistakes, but thats in the past.
One thing I know for sure, and I will not doubt this. My love for Amber is real. Forget silly teenage naivety, I have been there with her through a hell of a lot, and my feelings for her just grow and grow. To this day, I still cannot understand why I ever started liking her. Not that there is anything wrong with her, but it literally was an overnight thing. From just seeing her as a female, to realizing that I know this amazing beautiful lady. I cannot deny my feelings to protect her and just be there for her no matter what. No matter how stubborn she may be, no matter how hard she may push me away, I am like a magnet that just keeps being drawn to my opposite. Its something I can not explain, but my heart beats it and feels it. The thought of Amber does strange things to my heart.
Is what I am feeling real? Did God put this love in me and point out to me who my soul mate is? I can only hope so, because in my head I think so, but for all I know God has something totally different planned for me. This wedding made me think so much, and made me realize all the right kind of changes and mistakes I need to do and stop doing if I ever want to have my own mythical future, the future of me and my awesome wife, growing old with each other and enjoying life.