NO MORE CHOCOLATE!
Easter has the same outcome every year. I am not the biggest fan of chocolate, but every Easter there always seems to be like four million piles of chocolates lying around and I can't help but stuff my face full of the stuff. On top of that its like 1:25AM here right now, and due to my late night hungerness I went and got me some McDonald's. I feel like I have become a more rounded shape. Oh let me just add now that if what I say is boring or does not make sense, then I am sorry. I AM TIRED! Yet I just feel like writing right now, although my bed is slowly alluring me away.
This weekend has been an interesting one so far. My little cousin Jesse left my house on Saturday much to my dismay (he had been staying here for the last week) and I must admit, I hate saying goodbye to the little bugger. His company is always awesome! The only good thing of this is that I could maybe finally get to spend some time alone with Amber since she was on holiday. I saw her on Thursday and Friday, but me and her never really spoke much. Friday evening was a bit strange. Her and Clare came to my house to just hang out. Being Amber, she doesn't like asking me things directly all the time so she sms'd me asking if I minded taking her home. I obviously didn't and I replied saying I don't mind. A little while later Clare said they were leaving and got up. I thought I was taking Amber home but to my surprise she followed Clare to the front door. I hugged Clare and said goodbye, but to my surprise Amber was walking to the car. I was like "What the hell?" and I called out goodbye. She looked back, said goodbye and then carried on walking to the car. I was just confused, wondering what I had done? We eventually sms'd each other later and she then said "Are you ok? You seemed weird..." I replied saying I don't get why she ended up just going with Clare and why she didn't even bother to say goodbye. She replied along the lines of "So?" I just sighed and took it to be tha she was in one of those Amber moods that can never be understood or explained. We had a bit of an argument but we resolved it shortly without any damage done.
On Saturday I sms'd her asking what her plans were for the evening, and eventually we just decided that we would decide what to do with the evening when I got to her place. I got there and she was dressed up beautifully, ready for our "date". We ended up going to Monte casino and sitting outside at a restaurant. It was totally awesome! Without it being planned, we had a perfect view of the water fountain, and there was a band nearby playing some classy jazz music. This in my head, was kind of like the perfect date that wasn't planned. I know Amber likes to drink the odd glass of red wine (something she got from her father) and even though I am not the hugest fan of wine, we ended up getting a bottle for us to share. This made me feel insanely grown up... never in my life have I ordered my own bottle of wine to share with an amazingly beautiful girl who's company I got to share all evening. I was feeling extremely tired, and I admit I wasn't being talkative. I can honestly say though that I am comfortable enough around Amber for it to not have been awkward. Eventually though she brought it up randomly, and she ended up saying something that made my night. It went something like this, not word for word, but you get the general idea:
Amber: "We don't really have much to talk about lately do we?"
Me: "I don't see it as a bad thing, I don't think its bad at all if it doesn't feel awkward."
Amber: "I guess so. I just think of those couples that have been together forever, that go to dinner and say like nothing to each other. I don't want to be that kind of couple."
Me: "No don't be silly, you and I like talking far too much for it to ever be like that. At least you like to talk sense, I do all the rubbish talk."
This may seem like nothing to you, but she referred to us as a couple. I know it may seem weird, hell... it seems strange enough to me. We aren't dating technically, but at the same time we are. We are a couple that love spending time with each other. I know this doesn't mean its a good thing, because I can still get hurt if she just ends up with some other guy... but at least I am not the only one that thinks of us as a couple.
The fountain show started. Something that happens every night I guess. We were perfectly positioned to see what was going on. The water spraying up and down and perfectly synchronized to the music that was playing melodiously in the background, I nice classical track. It was surreal, like something out of a movie. Everything was too perfect, like something out of hollywood fiction. We had the perfect table, the perfect view, The perfect atmosphere, and I was fortunate enough to be sitting next to this perfect, astoundingly beautiful girl. She rested her head on my shoulder as we watched the water splashing up and down. I rested my head on hers and we watched as people started grouping to watch too. Just like the perfect moment too, we looked at each other and shared a kiss... Not a peck, but not long enough to make other people make gagging noises. It was bliss, the perfect make up to the absence of company we have shared since she got busy with college. I realized what she had said, and I knew the lack of conversation was my fault due to me being all tired and what not. I woke up, and started acting more like myself. The evening changed from there, and before I knew it we were laughing hysterically with each other, making funny comments and just enjoying each others company.
I know Amber is one indecisive person, and she can just end up with any other guy that isn't me, but its evenings like that one that remind me to remember that she loves me. She may not always show it, but she does care for me deeply, and I do know that. I should learn to stop making bad assumptions, and just let time do its things and move on forward into the future, hoping that she will be there in my arms.
I really wish I could put everything else out in detail, but I am sure you are quite tired of reading about my feelings for Amber by now, at least for this post :P I will spare you the pain...
In other news... I Love Amber, A lot :x
In OTHER news, I am going to bed now :) Its 2AM! As always, thanks for reading, I don't know how you cope :P but I really do appreciate it!